Thursday, August 25, 2011

Trusting God

First, I would like to warn you that if you're reading this blog you will find that I try not to sugar coat things.  If at any point you feel I'm being negative or that I have self-pity, I believe that you're reading into it the wrong way.  Your input is always appreciated so feel free to say whatever you think fits.  I want to attempt to express the struggles and concerns that I have in my own life with hope that someone else will realize that even though it may not be the same as my situation, they aren't alone in what they are going through.  It's nice to know sometimes that you aren't alone. 
I am who I am and I want to be real with the world and most importantly, myself.  Being honest with yourself helps you to see things in your life for what they really are.  Situations and circumstances in my life have brought me to the place that I am now.   Sadly, a place of brokenness and discontentment with my relationship with God.  I will never try to convince you that I have everything figured out.  I'm working through these hard times and learning a lot of lessons through the challenges. 
Nothing takes God by surprise, he knows the end from the beginning.  He knew who my parents were going to be before he gave me to them.  He knew when my first wreck was going to be.  He knew who my bestest friend would be.  He knew I was going to be pregnant at 18 years old.  He knew that the greatest blessing of my life would come to me in a little boy named Blaine.  He knew I would make the mistakes I have made.  He knew what would come of those mistakes.  Which brings me to what I want to say today...
God knows every moment of our lives before we even get to them.  Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  He created us to be so much more than we can conjure up in our minds.  Sometimes without being aware of it, I make decisions and choices that I think are what I WANT to do when I never let Him lead me to show me what I NEED to do.  That has led me to a place of discontentment and confusion, which God is not the author of.  So now I'm at a place of asking God for answers and trying to have clarity for the things in my heart and what to do with the situation I am presently in.  "Why?" & "What?" have become common questions in my vocabulary to God.  This brings frustration and more confusion the more I ask for answers and understanding.
Then I heard this - If you have to know the why behind everything and you're gonna spend you're life trying to figure everything out, you are never going to have contentment and satisfaction.  You will never enter the rest of God because trust always requires having some unanswered questions in your life.  I want to trade my questions for trust.  Blessed are those that believe and still, yet, do not understand.  Daniel 4:35 - None can stay His hand or say to him, "What are you doing?".  This scripture states that we shouldn't question God on what he is doing.  I believe we should trust his work instead of questioning the "what?" or "why?".
I would like to serve God with my heart, instead of my mind.  My heart is the important thing to focus on.  Heart being connected to God, when you speak to Him and have fellowship with Him, you speak from your heart instead of your mind.  You don't serve God with your mind or by trying to figure Him out (that's exhausting).  Serve Him with your heart and take authority over your mind.  If it's in your heart and God has placed it in your heart, don't question Him with your mind.
I speak from a lot of areas in my life.  This is just the study I've had today.  Again, I don't have this figured out and I'm nobody to preach to you.  I'm not 100% on this but I'm working on it.  Remember, it is always best to study the word for yourself.  These are just thoughts from my mind and what I've gathered so don't go off of what I say.  Joyce Meyers put the seed in my ear and I studied from there.  Find it out for yourself, you may find you enjoy the fellowship with God.

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1 comment:

  1. I miss you so much and I hope that everything is going good and that God is with you 100% of the way. I love you.

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